03/04/05 - 03/06/05 : From Toronto With Love: The Metro Jam
Donnie, Dylan, Chris, Evan, Seth, Quiz & I all went up to T-Dot for the weekend to go the Metro Jam Bike Contest. This is the highlight of the year for many and many of good pictures were produced. Lets begin.
Chris drove his step mom's van which meant we got to have a great time on the way up. Here's a picture of Donnie wondering what the hell Dylan's doing. This must have been around London, because Dylan was smashed by Ridgetown and I threw up in Milton, so by deduction that's where this is. Shout out to Double Malt Colt 45.
I like this picture because it makes Donnie look hard with a cap gun.
Dylan fell down in the van (somehow) and proceeded to get Donnie's finger in his face.
Donnie once told Jeremy Baillargion he could tailwhip a fun box and Jeremy asked "isn't a fun box a Kleenex box with 4 holes on each side for 4 dudes to put there penises in"...what?
While Dylan was smashed on the drive up, Donnie grabbed him and wrote all over him...this is Dylan yelling at the amateurs with marker on his face...amateur night was great because Evan, Dylan & I were all smashed so we heckled the whole time, to the point where our voices were gone on Sunday.
I had the brilliant idea to bet Chris $20 for 20 pictures with 20 pros. Well on Friday while drunk as hell I was working on it; sober me on Saturday wasn't as keen on the idea. Brian Kachinsky, Jim Cielencki, Van Homan & Steve Crandall (left to right respectively).
After the contest we walked around and realized Chris booked us a hotel in the gay district. See Club Toronto there, that was the joke of the weekend ("wanna spoon at Club Toronto?")...anyway Donnie went into Club Toronto on the way home one night to see what its like, only to be thrown out because it's a steam bath and you can't bring 40's in there...true Donnie fashion.
How much would you give to get this in your room?
Myself, Navi, enjoying said 9 inches with Colt45 hanging out the pocket. I rule so hard.
With 4 floors of bikers at the hotel, things got pretty wild and we all got a kick out of this kid climbing the hallway walls...Chris wanted him to turn around but I think he would have shattered his tailbone.
Evan rules, he ordered porn on Chris' tab. Like going to Zanzibar's twice wasn't enough cooter for the weekend.
The next day we walked to the contest from our hotel & boy was Donnie pissed when he saw this. Paris Hilton catching the bird.
I, on the other hand, was very pleased to see this even though the rest of the group wanted paintball guns since it said "America's Next Top Model." Whatever, Tyra Banks is still Top 5.
You know the other day I was thinking, "man this lukewarm Christianity is really starting to get old"... fucking Jesus freaks.
The dick mob doesn't like Pat Sajak.
Here's my artistic photo of the year; we were all disappointed that we didn't have any spray-paint to write "not enough" on this billboard.
This is everyone generally impressed with the Lamborghini dealership; I was going to ask Donnie if this is where 50 Cent buys doors, but I thought he might choke me out...I still think it's better than Chris going in to ask if he can get one with a gun rack.
During best trick Morgan Wade tried a wall ride to bike flip (which is insane for those of you not in the know), but anyway I like the paparazzi in this picture and also I figured for an article about a bike contest we should have at least one picture of bike riding.
Lets end with this; I know it's a shitty picture, but it's still is a picture of John Pratt being arrested; John Pratt is a tool and we were all thoroughly impressed with his arrest. The picture would have been better if it wasn't for the 10 cops in the hallway throwing out anyone in sight. Hopefully John had fun in jail for the night spooning with a Danny Glover look-alike.
Well that concludes the Metro Jam trip, it was fun as hell and I can't wait for next year. Sorry about the lack of hilarity in the captions, I'm just a little hung-over.
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