03/04-06/06 - My 2nd Toronto BMX Metro Jam
I had so much fun last year that I couldn't pass up heading back to Toronto for another weekend of fun in at one of BMX's biggest bike contests - The Metro Jam.
The thing is though, that the weekend is much more than just seeing pros doing insane tricks; the drinking, gallivanting & horseplay of the weekend also plays a critical role.
Donnie, Steve & I all agreed that American 40's would be necessary for this trip. So Donnie & I headed over to the states on Thursday to pack up for the trip.
The one problem though? Getting pulled in at the border and having your 24 40 ounce bottles confiscated...what a waste.
The thing is that I couldn't let this get us down; I headed back after saying I was going home and picked up 17 more 40's. This time I paid duty and the 40's still worked out to $4 each...ie. Still a Deal.
Chris also made some pre-trip purchases...namely, $19 dollars in cap, nerf & other various guns, police badges and handcuffs for the ride up.
Even though I was driving, this was keeping me fully entertained and I think it kept the boys entertained for at least the first hour (ie. until the guns ran out).
Steve about to cap Donnie.
Even with dual wielding, the guns lasted plenty a long time.
Steel Reserve 211 & Camo was fueling the gunfight.
Donnie right after he robbed a liquor store and drank everything on his way.
Evan & Jason took up the other seats in the van.
We stopped near Tillsonburg for everyone to piss, throw out ripped porno and for me to try to rip my door off after Chris pushed me over the line.
Our stop in Tillsonburg also included Chris throwing Donnie in the snow and Donnie ripping Chris' sweater trying to pull him off of the seat he was clutching.
Soon after Tillsonburg, people started to get rowdy with Chris, Evan & Donnie sitting in the back. People were punching in the face and chanting Three Six Mafia & Lil Jon lyrics.
At times I would look back and think an actual fight broke out; but nothing came of it except for plenty of bruises, Jason's earring being ripped out and a couple of bloody lips...alright maybe SOMEthing came out of it.
Donnie was plenty drunk.
...as was Steve.
The drinking didn't stop once we got there. The funny part was that this was Friday and on Saturday there was extra security and all kinds of "Alcohol prohibited" signs.
One of the main highlights of the weekend is always the first day; everyone gets liquored up on the way there and heckles all the amateurs.
It got to such a point this year, that a. Chris has lost his voice (it's Wednesday and he still doesn't have it) and b. some kids recognized him and yelled "toboggan" when they saw him (that's what Chris yelled incessantly)
Some rookies couldn't keep up on Friday...Jason.
...as was Steve.
Friday night featured plenty of drunkenness by me; far too much as I was riled up by the trip and tried to catch up way too hard. Cement slabs are a bitch to sleep on...but hey, at least I drank in Sam the Record Man for the first time!
Toronto's own Shawn Desman.
Notice how many people tried to rip this poster off
Raise da Roof!
More odd signage.
While waiting in line for the Macneil video, we deliberated and decided we needed more beer (there was only 3 forties left by this time); so I collected money and ran to the nearest beer store...it was closed and someone gave me directions to another one (I was drunk again at this time); so I walked and walked and found another open to 11...picked up 4 forties and 2 king cans.
Why did I tell you all of this? Well I spotted this Morales on the way.
When we returned to the hotel, we spotted this giant "brokeback" mural.
Drinking on the way, at the contest, in the elevator...it didn't really stop except for Sunday.
Steve enjoying himself with some dual 40 action.
This picture is dogshit, but the story is ridiculous nonetheless.
Anyone that knows anything about biking at all knows who Dave Mirra is. So anyway, Steve gets on the phone and calls down to the hotel desk and asks to be connected to Mr.Mirra's room. He is. Steve can't believe he's on the phone with Dave Mirra, but Dave Mirra isn't impressed with being awakened from his sleep at 10:30 on Saturday night! So Steve starts to ask him a few questions, then just plan berates him asking him if he "slaps it to a slim jim," "if he wants a dave burger," "if he knows that full face helmets are for dirt biking" and also that "no gold medals, no first place."
This was over 4 calls and Dave Mirra wasn't impressed. The desk wouldn't connect us anymore; so we all had a laugh about it and went about our drinking...that is, until Dave Mirra showed up at the door!
Steve yelled and asked if he had his gold medals, but Donnie said let him in and so Steve did. Dave Mirra rushed in with some bird, 40-year old looking, Californian guy and asked who's talking all the shit. Chris was just sort of mesmerized that Dave Mirra was in our room and kept asking Dave Mirra to take a picture with him. Dave Mirra refused and kept asking who was talking all the shit. We all sort of stood around, not taking pictures, just weirded out by Dave Mirra being in our room; it sort of like when a cheating girl is trying to explain her dirt to you and she says, "it all just happened so fast." That's exactly what it was like.
Well anyway, Dave Mirra left our room after about 1 minute, saying don't worry about those kids, they're dead. That's where this picture comes in; the bird guy that came with Dave Mirra was telling us to have respect and pointing at Steve; Steve promptly told him to get out and guided him swiftly out the door.
I guess you can add Not Getting a Picture of Dave Mirra to my lifetime regret list.
After our Dave Mirra excitement; we left to walk around Toronto down Yonge Street. Well, Donnie & Steve had open 40's in hand (I had one in pocket and Dylan had a king can); sure enough, the 5-0's spotted us and we got stopped and harassed. To make a long story short, they searched Dylan & Steve and Steve had dog mace on him; they gave Steve a ticket and he was plenty drunk and unimpressed...at least they didn't take his Vaseline (they were too weirded out I think.)
This is the beginning of when we started to realize just how crazy things were getting. Firstly, take note that the same Le Chateau is in the background as the previous picture. Well, why we were waiting to see what would happen with Steve, this crazy bum and Donnie started to argue...this bum said that Donnie had his hat and Donnie just told him to get lost...not wanting to touch him at all.
This crazy bum wouldn't stop following us around and I was starting to feel bad for him because I didn't think Donnie would put up with much more of it.
Luckily for the bum, he decided to give it a rest and fuck off somewhere.
Speaking of Steve being plenty drunk...and this picture was taken before Steve "pool noodled" out a stream of upchuck all over the side of the bed; causing the room to smell awful.
After some cohesion, some cleaning up and some cologne spray I got everyone back in and happy they stayed, well except for Dylan.
Chris was quoted saying that he's going to do the same next year if it results in your own bed. (only 1/2 the people had beds...8 guys, 2 beds - 2 per bed...)
The start of Sunday included a search for somewhere to eat some breakfast; we got detoured in this one alley and notice this crazy swing in between two buildings.
Steve along with a portrait of his family.
The alley we explored.
The van in front of the Rogers Center.
A dirty van.
For some reason Quiz decided to take his shirt off on the way home. Anything for Donnie I guess.
These photos weren't the greatest and I'm sure Dziamaarski had much better ones, but he decided to see what the format button did on the way home.
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