02/07,08,09/07 - Toronto with Warriner(s), Whitfield, Monaghan, Ingram & Russian Strippers.
With Warriner leaving for Australia on Sunday; he wanted to go visit our Toronto friends one last time before he left.
The ride up was pretty uneventful.
Highlights included reading Chekhov & taking a nap.
Aaron is Warriner's little brother and this is his first time on the website - urinating over a barrier because he couldn't wait to get up to Ingram's / Monaghan's / Whitfield's.
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We caught up; pre-gamed a bit & headed on our way.
I was quite waxed from the St.Ides and it took me quite a few attempts to get a good picture of these 3 in the bus.
And I still screwed it up.
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Whitfield knew how long the ride from their apartment to downtown was & smartly took a few tall cans with him.
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Once we were done our bus ride; it was a subway ride.
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Finally we made it to the bar...it was bumping for a Wednesday.
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At the bar.
The first bar we went to was pretty weak. Then we met up with some females and headed to some other bar. It ended up being quite good as everyone seemed to have a good time.
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Aaron was pretty waxed.
I have no clue if he's making a face or if he was this waxed; because I felt like Aaron looked.
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View upon awakening.
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Out on the balcony, you could see CN Tower in the distance.
Thursday morning was full of recovery and NHL 2007.
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Eventually we made our way out for some lunch...
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...and some Charley T's!
This strip club had to be the highlight of the trip. You see, normally I don't advocate going to shitty strip clubs. I've been to the one in Chatham and it wasn't funny; it was just bad. I look at the ground and felt awkward because I didn't want to watch the girls.
(If any feminists are getting worked up by this; realize that I would have enough common sense to know that if I worked at Danny's; that girls wouldn't want to see it.)
Anyway, everyone else was psyched on going and my warnings went to the wayside.
So, the first girl is alright and I think to myself that this isn't that bad. Then this other sketchy girl comes up to Whitfield & I. The girl puts her arm around us and my shoulder becomes wet to the touch. Yuck. Anyway, she goes on about how she's a first year Kinesiology student at York and proceeds to ask us a million questions. Eventually she tells Whitfield that she's excited that some young guys are watching and that she's going on next & Whitfield tells her to put on a good show.
At this point I asked Whitfield if she was a bit challenged. He tells me that he thinks she may be foreign; but he wouldn't rule out her being challenged.
Anyway, were not looking forward to this. The girl wasn't bad at all; she was a little thick, but worth watching & in all actuality, I probably wouldn't hit on her at a bar / party because I'd think she was out of my league. That all changed when she started dancing. I swear I could have done better. Highlights include: her moving her arms like a genie, laying on the ground and smacking her ass while looking at us, moving extremely quickly / awkwardly instead of seductively, her meaty box and her doing the Harlem Shake.
What's the Harlem Shake? I figured you may ask:
It wasn't as fast / good as that guy's Harlem Shake; but it was definitely the Harlem Shake.
Anyway, all the while she's doing all this dancing and I'm trying my hardest not to laugh. I'd look up; watch about 5 seconds and start to erupt and have to look at the ground. I did this about three times until I looked over to realize that Warriner was dying laughing AND STARING RIGHT AT HER. Classy, classy Warriner. Whitfield tells him to stop laughing because it'll hurt her self confidence & Warriner says that her self confidence needs hurting.
Her three songs couldn't finish fast enough. As soon as it ends, I clap and head to the washroom to wait out her visit. Aaron & Whitfield are in right after me & I realize that this isn't going to work.
We go back to our seats and she doesn't even have her clothes on yet. For the first time in my life, I get up to go to the bar at a strip club and buy a beer. I come back to find Whitfield has slid into my seat and now I have the end seat. Great. 5 guys sitting in a row and I'm the end seat. This is going to be excellent.
Whitfield being a better looking dude finally worked to my advantage. The stripper skipped right over me & sat in Whitfield's lap. Excellent! She starts being flirtatious and quickly lies down across Aaron, Warriner, Whitfield & I. I got the calves, Whitfield got the booty, Warriner got the back & Aaron got the head. Warriner quickly angled his legs so she would slide down; but she just kept shimming up and wiggling her body on Whitfield & Warriner. Next, she wanted to see Aaron's hair from under his toque. Aaron said something along the line of "no, it's really long" and Warriner chimed in, "ooooh! What are you two talking about?" The stripper said something along the line of, "I don't know, let's see" and then grabbed Warriner's hammer! By the end she grabbed Aaron's & Whitfield's as well; it was quite amusing; even though I have no idea why she grabbed theirs.
Throughout the next course of talking, we found out that she was born in Russia and raised in Israel (the challenged stripper angle didn't pan out) and that she had some mean B.O. when she lifted her arm and Warriner got a great amount of it. Eventually we turned her down for lap dances and she moved along.
Whitfield's crotch was wet for some reason.
I was curious as to what kind of lap dance she would put on; but she was just too sweaty.
Lastly, the whole experience changed Warriner's mind on sleeping with her.
Maybe dive strip clubs aren't that bad.
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After the strip club; we headed back to the apartment & were all too excited to tell Monaghan about our excursion.
We convinced Warriner to spend another night & another night meant more pre-gaming.
Anyway, en route to the bar we had just missed the bus, and instead of looking for some bushes; Whitfield just let loose.
The bar was 100x better on Thursday. Warriner stated that it was the best bar he ever went to and I probably couldn't disagree with that. I just loved the foreign contingency.
You can't argue with a bar that has a girl dancing that looks like Brandy Norwood. Warriner knew it was all me; but I was in a bad mood, so he tried and got shut down.
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Monaghan & Whitfield both left long before us due to work & Whitfield being quite drunk.
Once the rest of us got home from the bar, we found Whitfield asleep on the floor for some reason or another...
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Ingram having some fun with Whitfield.
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Whitfield.
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Twas quite a good time for a Wednesday & a Thursday. I have no idea why I don't head up there more often?!?
Anyway, it was a fitting way to see Warriner off.
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